Wednesday, January 30, 2019


I keep jumping from idea to idea.

While school is keeping me busy, and now this opportunity to go to a writing course in New York over the summer is taking up all my free time, I still can't help but think of all the things I want to be writing.

I've always had this idea of creating a conlang for a Tolkien level world building story that I plan on being my 'dissertation' for my doctorate.

And now I'm being sucked back into thinking about conlangs and world building, and characters, and etc.

Ideas are piling up in my head and I'm stuck doing essays and homework. It's times like these that I really think about whether or not I want to be in school.

But I know that staying in school will help me reach more people with my writing, so here I am. In school, trying to get my school work done as quickly as possible (without sacrificing quality of work) so I can get back to my writing.

Wish me luck.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

School Again

So now begins the struggle.

Finding a balance between school work, an internship, and trying to have a social life.

It's hard because I want so much to make my writing time seriously but at the same time I don't want to sacrifice too much with my academics.

Basically it's going to be more sporadic with posts because I have college and work and life, but I will do my best to keep up with posting at least twice a month. I like keeping track of my writing process and my meta thoughts about my writing.

Yeah so like, I'll be less active, but I'll still be updating because this blog is first and foremost a record of me writing my book. And I'm not giving up on my book, no matter how much life gets in the way.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019


When writing my first draft, it was fast. Just getting the words out and finishing this entire idea that had been in my head.

I got 27k out of that draft.

Now I'm working on my second draft and its going so slowly. But that's okay. I'm going to take my time with this draft and make it as good as it possibly can be. I think my problem is that I want to be done so badly that I don't realize that I need to slow down, enjoy the process of writing. That use to be my favorite part of any project. I need to relax and just enjoy writing again.

So I think my major take away from this is that I need to be patient. I need to calm the fuck down and understand that being an author doesn't mean churning out books every five seconds with minimal effort. It takes time, effort, and care to write a book. I don't want to put out bad material. I want to put out best work.

Quality over quantity, slow the fuck down. 

It's not pretty, but that's my mantra for the process of writing my second draft. I want a quality book, and if that's shorter than what I want it to be fine. I won't include useless fillers, I won't bullshit to up my word count. I'll do my best to have a quality book that's as long as it needs to be.

I'm going to take my time and make the best work I can.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Finding your people

There's always the worry when you write anything,

will this find the right people?

As a writer I want my work to find it's intended audience, I want it to be read by people who will appreciate what I create. But then I start to wonder- what if I need to find people who aren't the intended audience? What if there are people who aren't into what I right- and need my work to get them interested?

What if it's the job of my work to persuade people to find a new thing to love?

It's a thought that is always in the back of my mind when I write.

And I'm tired of it.

My writing is first and foremost done with the intention of doing something that makes me happy.

If other people like my work of course that will make me happy, but to fear starting a work because I don't know if it'll be well received or not?? That's no way to be a writer.

It won't be an easy or automatic change in my mindset, but making the conscious decision to try and change it is enough for me.

My people will find me, and I will find them if I'm brave enough to write the story I want to write.

Friday, January 4, 2019

I'm doing another thing..

I'm going to be starting a newsletter!

I'll be including a whole lot of goodies for everyone who signs up, including but not limited to:

~free templates for organization and planning so you can stay on top of both your writing and your life
~giveaways exclusive to those subscribed to the newsletter
~never before published short romance and or erotica scenes that are exclusive to the mailing list
~my book recommendation of the month
~excerpts of Pup's New Hope that didn't make it into the second draft (this draft was mostly smut, so you'll be getting all the hottest scenes)
~my top 5 tipts and tricks for writing, planning, and life management
~updates from me, my progress on my WIP, and my journey towards publishing my first full length novel in college

Good stuff right? I'll probably add or change the content based on the feedback I get from you all, so comment and let me know what you'd like to see from my newsletter.

So subscribe to the newsletter it will start going out on January 15th! Let's start this year off right, together~

(the link to sign up is on the sidebar with all the other links to my social media)

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Doing what you love

I know that this is a little bit, alright more than a little bit cliche.

But honestly- do what makes you happy.

If that means writing a book, starting a youtube channel, or starting a full on business, then do it. It will make your life so much richer. There will be hardships as there always are, but at least it will be the struggles you choose. The struggles will result in something that makes you bone deep happy.

That's why I write. That's why even though it's awfully cringy to watch myself on video I still plan to make more for my authortube channel. I do it because I like it. Because it makes me happy.

Even if this book is driving me crazy because it's hard to write I like it. I will complain and I will bitch about how hard it is but I can't put it down. I can't. I love it too much.

Find something that you love so much you can't help yourself. That's what will make all the bullshit in life worth it.

I will write until the day I die because I can't stop, because I have to write. Because it makes me happy.

There will never be something worth more than what makes me happy. So make sure your priorities reflect what makes your life brighter. Happier.

And live your best life.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Authortube. I'm just gonna.. do it?

(Update 1/2/19)

So I posted my first video to youtube. And I think its pretty good for my fist try!

I did the Authortube Newbie Tag created by Jenna Streety on youtube and it was really fun, the recording the editing and the making of the thumbnail. I'm really happy about it.

Check it out~

I'm really excited about this channel and the newsletter, it's both a way to get involved with the community and to do something that I've wanted to do, make videos about something I'm passionate about!

If you have any suggestions for me in regards to the youtube channel or the blog or the newsletter, or some tips on starting a youtube/authortube let me know in the comments~

Monday, December 31, 2018

The Companion

This is the first story I ever self published, it's novelette and I'm so proud of it.

It's about two asexual men who fall in love and find ways to live together. It's short and sweet and part of a series I intend to write about characters on the asexual spectrum. The series will be called Subtle Lovers, but for now I'm taking a break from it to write Pup's New Hope.

Either way, I'm still proud of this book. It sold two copies and I'm very happy about that because it's a story that shows off one side of my writing style, and shows that I'm not dependent on sex scenes to be a good writer. (Even though I'm really good at sex scenes).

So look forward to more Subtle Lovers updates later on!

Pup's New Hope (WIP)

This book will be my first ever full length work.

I'd already written a 27.5k first draft, and now as I'm reworking it from top to bottom I'm going to have a very very long outline that should get me at least 30k for a second draft. The idea for this story has been growing since I was in highschool. I only seriously started writing it when I got to college, and I finished it at the end of my first year.

It started with a scene about a guy waking up to strange noises, going to find out what it was, only to find two other guys having sex in a back aisle of a small bookstore.

Oh the memories of writing that first scene, I was still an innocent 18 year old who wouldn't let anyone look at my work because I was too shy to let people know I wrote smut.

How times have changed, for the better that is.

I'm revising it now, or making substantial revisions as my professors like to say, and I'm really liking the new path it's taking. I had previously tried to take out all the erotica in the book, partly because I fell victim to the idea that erotic romance wasn't a 'serious' or 'legitimate' writing genre (even though I've bought several books of this genre from authors I truly respect) and partly because I thought it would help my goal of making the focus of the book the relationship rather than just the sex. But I realized that I like writing erotica, I like reading it, I like thinking up stories that are bold and arousing as well as funny and well crafted.

Now that I've stopped trying to force the book into what it's not, I'm having a lot of fun with the revisions. I'm writing so much more in my revision thoughtdump than I did in my original dump. Now that I'm reworking the outline I have so much more to work from. This second draft is going to be so much better. I can't wait to show my editor and see what she thinks of my changes.

There's going to be sex and sarcasm and tension and friends to lovers, all the good stuff that I love writing.

I write smut but that's only part of what I write, I write romance and sometimes my stories don't have sex at all. But sometimes they do and that's okay. This one has sex. A lot of sex.

And it's going to be a great story.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Pastel motivation

The reason this blog is so ~fabulous~ is because I like rose pink. I like the aesthetic of it and I like how it makes me feel positive every time I look at it. It inspires me. That's what matters.

It's the same with books. Write what you like, write what inspires you. Write for the aesthetic of a scene alone.

That's what will get you started.

Writing all the time won't always be fun. There will be days when you're not motivated at all, and all you want to do is read your book that's been written for you. But if you find even the silliest thing to be motivated by, like a color or a sight or a sound, then grab onto it with both hands and just bask in the creative energy it brings you.

And you don't always have to write with the intention of that piece being published and being a creative masterpiece, it's okay to just write for yourself. Write because you love it.

Thursday, December 27, 2018


For 2019 I have many lists and many goals about what I want to do and achieve. I'm going to share some of them, both to feel like I'm being held accountable and to clarify my goals for myself. I'm going to be sharing specifically the goals I have in relation to my writing over the course of 2019:

1.  Revise Pup's New Hope as many times as necessary to be happy with your work

2.  Build an online presence

3.   Become engaged in the writing community/network

4.   Look into marketing for/ Set up a launch for Pup's New Hope

5.   Finish and publish Pup's New Hope by January 1st, 2025 at the latest

I'm going to focus on one book this year, if that's not blatantly obvious. I want this book to do well. It will be my first full length novel of any genre and I want it to be successful as my debut as an author. I already have one book up on Amazon, a short novelette that I'm really proud of actually. It's called The Companion.  But I want to have this full book done and I want to be able to sell copies of it because I want to know that I can do this. That my writing can bring in revenue.

Even if I only sell five copies of my book I will consider it a success because that means five people were willing to pay to read my writing.

I will do everything I can to give it a good launch and I will do my best to market it once it's ready, and in the mean time I will start treating my writing and related activities like a job and not a hobby. 2019 will be the year writing becomes my number one priority.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018


I've reached the last few chapters of my second manuscript, which is going to be about 27k pre-editing. I'm including the work I'm doing on my second manuscript for revisions because hey, those are words I wrote too. So by the time I've counted everything I'll have about 51k words in total.

I'll have two manuscripts, one more edited than the other. And I'll have my 50k words. I feel like I'm cheating but I also know that it's not. Then again I think I just have to accept that I can't always do things exactly like I want to.

But I'll congratulate myself for finishing this. I wrote 27k in one month when before it took me 2+ years. I've written more consistently and more prolifically than I've ever done. This has been a good experience for me. Next year I'll do even better.

This year though, I've still met my goal.

I did well. I need to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, and focus on what I did well.

I reached my 50k word count, and that is a wonderful accomplishment.

Friday, November 23, 2018

8 more days

There's eight more days in NaNoWriMo. I'm at 17,191 words. That means I need to write roughly 5,500 words per day if I want to meet and exceed my word goal of 50k.

I can do this, but it's going to come down to just one thing.

Whether or not I take my writing seriously.

Instead of treating it like a hobby, something less important that can be brushed aside, I need to be serious about it. I've invested my money into it, yes. But unless I invest my time and focus and energy into it, what's the point?

I made the promise to myself and other people that I would have a manuscript complete by December. If I break this promise to myself then what's the point of calling myself a writer? I need to stop letting other people decide my priorities for me, I need to stop letting myself make excuses about the timing or the environment or whatever not being opportune. I need to hold myself accountable and just do it.

If I could write about 15k in a few days, I can write 5.5k per day. I can. I've written papers that long in a few hours. What makes those writing sprints any less important than these? It's just because I place more value on academics than on my own personal goals. Academics will always be important to me, whether that's because of my upbringing or anxiety or even just curiosity, but my writing is what I will always love.

So if I make it, it will be the first step towards being a dedicated writer.

If I don't, I'll just have to start all over again.